Attitude!

Does attitude matter? Can you have a bad attitude and be a great leader? If you have a great attitude does it make you a great leader? Can you name anyone with a bad attitude that is/was a great leader? Which is easier to follow... someone with a good attitude or a bad one?

I would say for the most part I am a very positive guy with a very easy going attitude. I normally don't get too worked up about anything and typically maintain a level head... But I recently read a chapter in a book about leadership that I didn't care for.

But before I share that let me share with you some of the things it had to say...

* A leader's attitude is caught by his or her followers more quickly than his or her actions.
* God chooses what we go through. We choose how we go through it.
* The pessimist complains about the wind. The optimist expects it to change. The leader adjust the sails.

These three simple statements simply state the importance of our attitudes, but it should also tell what kind of attitudes we have... What does your attitude reflect when we find yourself in a high stress situation? What attitudes are your followers catching? Do you find yourself complaining? Just expecting something to change for the better? Or do you find yourself making the changes needed to adjust for the wind?

I enjoyed the chapter I was reading (Developing the Leader Within You by John C. Maxwell) until I read this; "The greatest day in your life and mind is when we take total responsibility for our attitudes. That's the day we truly grow up."

See I like all the "tricks and techniques" but when it is all my responsibility then that becomes a bit uncomfortable... It is so much easier to justify my behavior and attitude than it is to own them. I'm not sure I like the idea that I can change my attitude no matter what is going on around me. I don't like that idea that no matter what someone has done I can change my perspective and change my attitude...

What about you? How is your attitude?
Do you believe you can change it?
Is there situations that you find yourself having a bad attitude? What can you do to change that?
Are you ready to take total responsibility for your attitude?

I'd love to hear your thoughts...

- Rainey

Elements of a Successful Group

This is from LifeChurch.tv

Here are the elements we’ve found essential for a great group:

1. A great group needs a leader. When everyone is always voting on what we do next, we never do much. A good leader makes for a good group.

2. A great group is built around God’s word. Too often, small groups become all about fellowship. While fellowship is always essential, doing life around God’s word is what truly makes the difference.

3. A great group is a safe group. If people can’t discuss openly without fear of judgment, rejection, or gossip, the group is doomed to fail.

4. A great group looks outward. Serving together is life-changing.

5. A great group births new groups. If a group stays together for too long, they usually grow stale. Healthy groups produce new groups.

6. A great group takes breaks. We often take the summer off from consistent meetings. We’re all busy. The break makes us long to be together more.

7. A great group hurts together. I just got off the phone after talking to a young woman with four children who just lost her 39-year-old husband. Even though she is devastated, she told me confidently that her Life Group would be there for her. God is glorified through such a group.

Have you been part of a successful small group? What do you think made that group successful?

I'd love to hear your thoughts...

- Rainey

Leading with Questions

Asking questions is probably the one skill a leader should develop. If you were to review how Jesus taught in the Gospels, you would discover that he used questions on a regular basis to prompt his audience to become involved in the learning process. Better known as the Socratic Method, Jesus used questions in a variety of ways to cause people to think and investigate their own actions and values. By the use of questions, Jesus was able to cause people to self-examine or be involved in their own self-discovery; he pulled out what was best in others by the use of simple questions. He led by questions. The following points about forming questions are not my own, they are extracted from the website www.TheThoughtfulChristian.com (to see more information about the use of questions click here). For now, let’s look at a few pointers about how to ask good questions:

1. Usually it is helpful to move from information gathering (easiest for participants) to analysis (requires application of critical thinking) to personal response(invites reflection on experience, investment in what one is learning, and commitment to change in response to learning). This helps you direct the flow of the session from encounter with information to analysis of that information to one’s reflection on and personal response to the information.

2. Write out your questions. Practice using the examples provided as guides. Then read the question and imagine how you would answer it. Ask yourself, “Does this question elicit the kinds of responses I am looking for?”

3. Silence is your friend. Challenging questions require time to think. Thinking time takes people from their first thought to more complex thoughts. Let them know that you are comfortable with silence and that you know they need time to think about the question. When you know you have asked a particularly difficult question, impose time for thinking to lower anxiety about the expectation that someone speak soon. Say, “This is a tough question that will take some thought,” or “Take some time to think about this instead of offering the fi rst thing that comes to your mind.”

5. Avoid questions that can be answered with a yes or a no. Turn them into questions that require a reason, a suggestion, a description, or a comparison, that is, not “Can you name three ways . . . ?” but “What are three ways . . . ?”

6. Ask one question at a time. Avoid explaining a question by asking it in other ways or responding to silence with different questions you think they might answer more easily. If you wrote the question out and tried it yourself, you will see that the silence is likely thinking time. Wait.

7. If you think the group is not responding because they may not have understood the question, ask any of these: “Is my question clear?” “Do you need more time to think?” “Do you need me to clarify the question?”

8. Be prepared to follow responses to one question with another question that takes the conversation deeper or further or illustrates it in new ways: “What are some examples of . . . ?” “What are some even more challenging ways to look at this?” “Where do these responses lead us?”

9. Invite participants to ask their own questions. This will help bring clarity to parts of the conversation they are puzzled about and lead in directions they are interested in exploring.

10. Imply with your question that more than one response is possible, indeed desirable. Ask, “How many ways . . . ?” instead of “In what way . . . ?” and “What are some things you could do . . . ?” instead of “What is something you could do . . . ?”

11. Control the person who responds first and frequently with kind redirection, such as, “Let’s hear from a couple of people we haven’t heard from yet, and then I’ll come back to you,” or “Since you’ve had a couple of chances to speak, let’s hear from some others first.”

12. Involve the group in answering their own questions by asking, “How would others of you answer that question?”

13. Build on group responses by asking, “What would others of you add to that idea?” or “What additional ideas would work as well?” or “What are some other ways of thinking about this issue?”

14. Create an atmosphere in which all responses are welcome and appreciated by simply acknowledging a response with a “Thank you” or “That’s helpful.”