According to communication specialists, Mehrabian and Wiener, “Only 7% of a message is sent through words and 93% is nonverbal expressions.” If this is true, then we as leaders must communicate right expressions in our relationships, and especially in our LifeGroups. Below is something I found to be applicable to our task of building community at LPV. Let’s see what you think. Before you think I’m the author of these points, no, I found them online. So, read these cues and let me know your thoughts. Do you think these cues make a difference in leading?
According to this source, the following are NEGATIVE signs in a poor leader and says you should avoid doing these body language cues:
· Using signs of dominance and intimidation such as invading others' space (office, lunch table, etc.) without their invitation.
· Standing close and over others seated.
· Interrupting others' stories with own version of what is 'right'.
· Showing signs of disagreement or boredom.
· When seated with others, leaning back and putting arms behind head.
· Arms folded across chest.
· Drawing 'doodles' on note pad while others are talking or presenting briefing.
· Sitting with chair at a big angle away from (e.g. not facing) the speaker in conference or meeting room.
· Slouching in chair with one leg over arm of chair.
· Starring glassy-eyed at speaker and not blinking.
· Yawning when others are talking.
· Picking at finger nails or at imaginary lint on clothes.
· Tapping fingers on table or chair.
· Fiddling with pencil, pen, or personal objects.
· Bouncing leg rapidly and repeatedly with ball of foot on floor.
According to the source, here are POSITIVE indicators of people who are paying attention and working well with others; these are things leaders should do:
· Listen and don't interrupt others speaking.
· Respect the space of others and don't enter office or work space without permission or acknowledgment of presence.
· Ask opinions of others and offer help to others when needed.
· Cheerfully greet others.
· Maintain a positive attitude and 'can do' approach for all new tasks.
· Really look for, admire and congratulate others on their jobs well done.
· Do use and respect the 'chain-of-command' for all communications.
· Don't gossip or complain about others.
· Lean forward in your chair toward speaker.
· Make eye-to-eye contact with normal blinking.
· Make slight head nodding on key points made by speaker.
· Make little or no extraneous arm and leg movements while talking to others.
What do you think? Can you think of other “positive indicators” of leading/relating to others?
